All on my own

For the third year in a row, I was solo for Valentine’s Day. To be perfectly honest, it really didn’t bother me that much. The last two Valentines going into my seperation were complete crap, so I’d rather go solo on the V-Day than have a crappy one that I look back at and really regret. As much as I would enjoy having someone to hang out with, I’ve done my best to resist the urge to settle. I don’t want the next thing that comes along, I want someone who fits me. This time I’m willing to wait, and if it never happens… so be it.

I’m not trying to whine about it, quite the opposite: I’m strangely comfortable with it. I’ve watched friends and even one of my brothers jump from one woman to another, doing whatever they can to never be alone for a single day and it resulted in one disaster after another. I don’t want to fall into that pattern, so I went cold turkey. It wasn’t easy, and there were times when I wanted to crack but I’m all right being on my own. I don’t need to have someone, but if the right person comes along I’ll welcome her with open arms.

Yesterday for the first time in several months, I was able to attend a group meeting for people who are divorced or separated. I haven’t been able to attend for a while, mainly because the meetings were on Friday and they usually conflicted with my weekends with the boys. This time I was free and clear and able to go back. It felt good to go again and talk to people about where I am right now and where I want to go both in life and future relationships. This is one reason why I’m happy I haven’t latched onto someone just yet. By attending these meetings and going through what is a very theraputic process… I’m shedding a lot of bad feelings I was carrying from my previous failed relationship. That was if I do eventually find that right lady, I’ll be able to walk in with as little baggage as possible which will improve my chances of being a nice guy to hang out with.

This weekend I don’t have the boys, so I’m going to use it writing up some new material and maybe catch up with a few shows I’ve fallen behind with. I actually started watching a new show last week called ‘Monday Mornings’ which is a new medical drama on TNT. It’s actually quite good, and I’m a big fan of David E. Kelly’s previous works so I was onboard the moment I realized it was his show. If you’re into medical shows, I’d definitely recommend it… it’s pretty good.

So for the rest of my day, I’m going to try to tidy up a bit and try to do a little writing. I’m feeling kinda blah today so I’m not sure if I’ll get any done today but I’ll still give it a try. I hope everyone has a great weekend and does their best to stay warm!



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