Checking out early is not the answer, just keep trying…

Suicide

When I was in my teens, I felt this way.

Things were not going the way I wanted them to. I had teachers in school that actually said I wasn’t smart enough to graduate from high school, let alone get accepted to University. One oven had the audacity to tell me that I would never amount to anything and likely spend the rest of my years behind bars. I wasn’t the nicest kid in school and I got into trouble often. I was a rebel with a seriously fucked up attitude.

For a while I honestly believed what my naysayers were telling me and that was one of the most depressing years of my life.

I honestly considered suicide but thankfully I chickened out.

A year later, I met the teacher a changed my life. One that believed in me and told me that I was capable of doing whatever I wanted if I was willing to put in the work and effort to get them. I was on the honor roll for the remainder of my semesters in high school. I not only graduated from high school but was accepted to attend a great University. A few years later I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in English Literature. I was capable of doing better and everyone is capable of doing that as long as they have at least of voice that says those magic words; Yes, you can. That lone voice cheering you on, confident in your abilities even when you’re not.

I can tell you from experience, there is nothing more refreshing, more exhilarating than doing something that someone else things you’re not capable of. I’ve don’t it a few times and it’s glorious. So do whatever the fuck you want and prove those naysayers wrong. My teacher didn’t do all the work, he just pointed me in the right direction and enjoyed the show. Nothing made him more proud than to put up the announcement my parents had put in the local paper that declared my graduation from University. He put it up on the staff board for all to see… especially those who never said I could never do it.

I look back at the last twenty five years of my life and I’m thankful I didn’t have the guts to go through with it. I would have missed out on so much. All the travels, the friends I made, every glorious experience would have been wasted if I didn’t chicken out. I got married (and divorced) and I have two amazing boys who are my world. All it takes is one hug from a small boy and “I love you” being whispered into your ear and every doubt, every fear and all your anger just melts away. I wouldn’t trade that feeling away for anything. Things do get better and you will find happiness.

I hope that user on Tumblr does chicken out like I did all those years ago. There is so much adventure ahead, so much to discover. Don’t toss it all away… not for anyone. And never listen to the people who don’t know the real you. Do what you want because there are people out there who know you can do it and I’m one of them. You’ve barely scratched the surface. Don’t give up now when your best years are just ahead.

Chin up, you can do it too.

PJ

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